TEENAGE DRAMA

How crazy, crazy my life has been lately. I got a myspace but I have no idea how to do anything on there. So, I'll just keep writing on this and maybe one day I won't be so technologically challenged to figure it out. As I could tell from my last post, hardly anyone reads this anymore. It's crazy but I guess this is just my place to vent or write in a journal type thing anyways. I love to write but I just don't really get the time or really like anyone to see it so this is just perfect. :) Things are crazy with school starting. There's band going on and guys and classes and all that crazy teenage stuff. I really don't know how I'm gonna deal with it but oh well. Just goin with the flow. Have you ever just wished that your parents would get divorced? I know it's crazy and it's probably not normal either but with all this stress lately and them fighting and making me feel guilty for all I'm doing I guess it can just get you into a depressed mood. I hate feeling this way. I've always hated it. Especially when I really was depressed. I really don't want to get into that state of mind again. But, I'll get over it. I always do. I just need to get comfortable with things again, get some stuff out of the way, and just relax a bit when I'm in between things. Lol Like I said before... This is really just a place for me to vent without having to bother anybody else about my problems. :)
~same old happy amanda~

EUROPE

Well, this blog will be more than about Europe but that's the main thing that's coming up. Yes, I'm leaving for Europe this Sunday!!!! I'm so excited! I can hardly believe I'm really going. This is my dream and I know how unlikely it is to have your biggest dream come true... I know that I wouldn't have been able to do it by myself. I had sooo much help. I know no one reads this anymore... blogs are "totally last year" but I don't care. I still write from time to time. :) I'm also going to be the Drum Major next year. I have so many ideas already... it's insane!!!! I'm so stoked and I really hope I can do a good job. I'm so nervous that I'll be really bad and we won't win Region Marching and it'll be all my fault to stop the winning streak.... maybe I worry too much... but what if...?
Well, that's enough for now. Maybe I'll write again in another 4 months...

~too excited to sleep~
Manda

FOCUS ON MATTERS YOU CAN CONTROL

Well, I know that I haven't written for a long time but this is going to be kind of short because I have somewhere to be. Surprise, surprise. :)
I've been so busy lately. I'm going through some hard things, dealing with the past. I'm going to counseling and I'm learning a lot of new things about myself and I'm reliving a lot of horrible things I wish I didn't have to. But, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
Another thing is........GUYS ARE ONLY GOOD AS FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially when you are going through a hard time and you really need to focus on yourself instead of trying to satisfy everyone else. I've learned that the hard way. To all those who have been involved in this, I'm finished. The True to the Faith book says to focus on matters you can control. So that's what I'm going to do. I've apologized as much as I can and I've tried to make ammends with the people that I am on "rocky" grounds with. And that's all I can do. And that's okay. I'm not worried about it anymore and it's such a relief!! :) I can only control my behavior and my attitude and I can only try to influence others. But I can't control them and I am perfectly fine with that. It's really quite a great feeling. You should all try it sometime. :)

Amanda Courtney

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY

Well, I'm getting my license on Tuesday!! I am so stoked! I can't wait, obviously. I've been driving with Adamson a lot (okay only 4 times but it seems like a lot) so that has kept me busy. I also got a job at Farmer's Market and I've been working a lot of 6 hour shifts. Yeah, yeah I know some people are probably like "Oh, poor baby, only 6 hours." But hey, give me a break, I've never had a job before in my life. And working until 10 or 11 and then having to go home and do homework til 12 or 1 in the morning is kind of a drag. But, it's keeping me busy.
I've really been going through a hard time with guys right now. I want to make every one happy and by trying to do that I seem to be making it worse and making myself unhappy. My philosophy stands---- "Guys are confusing and girls are stupid." And if you know what's going on at school... you know what I'm talking about. Well, there's a lot more to say but I have to go get my waffles before my cousins eat them all.
~Til next time~

Amanda Courtney Stringham